Monday, June 17, 2013
Wake Up Call!
Testimony by Kelly Crabb....
I tried to renounce being a Christian: My testimony
In 1983 we had a little girl born with Beckwith–Wiedemann Syndrome. On the day that she was born I was so angry and upset with God that I tried to renounce being a Christian. I had gone home from the hospital, walking in the door, I saw a little soup skillet laying in the floor. I went for a field goal, hoping that I would break my toes, it would have hurt less than the pain that I was feeling. In my mind the thought came, "If this is what it is to be a Christian, why don't you tell God to get the hell out of your life? You just want to be happy like everyone else." I said, good idea, "God, if this is what it is to be a Christian, I want no part of You, get away from me." Then the thought came,"Tell Jesus too," so I said,"Lord if this is what it is to be a Christian, I am sorry that I ever met You, get out of my life." Then, I heard stuttering in my mind, which I thought odd, of course, who stutters in their mind? "Go ahead, T, T, Tell, number 3 too." Immediately in my mind I saw a beam of light, like a floodlight coming through the clouds. Just when I thought that it was my imagination, I was lifted up into the air, though still in my living room on the first floor, and saw the light hit the rooftop. Immediately I was back in my living-room, and in my mind I saw the light hit the floor to my right side. Immediately I couldn't cry anymore. I yelled, "Leave me alone, have you seen my baby?" He said,"Kelly, I can't allow you to do that. Being 22, I said,"Oh yea, watch this." I could not speak a word. I opened my mouth, but could not speak at all. I said,"If you wont let me say it out loud, I am going to say it in my mind." He said,"Kelly, I can't allow you to do that, it is the only thing that I can't forgive you for." I didn't care, I was furious. So I tried again, and again, He would not let me put any words together at all. He said,"Put your daughter in my hands." Internally, I said,"Put her in your hands, you are God, you could have had her born normal." He said,"Can you heal her, can you take her home?" Funny, I was still calling Him Lord. I said,"No Lord." A ticker-tape ran through my mind with part A and part B of two verses,"Cast all your cares upon Him that careth for you, and the peace which surpasses all understanding will keep your heart and mind in Christ." I had perfect peace for the whole seven and a half months that Jessica lived. Even when they called us 4-5 times needing a verbal approval over the phone for emergency surgery to save her life, I had a totally uncanny peace, that let me know that everything would be all right. He gave me the ability to trust Him, even when everyone around me was crying and so upset. They would even ask me if I even cared about my own daughter. I said,"Yes, of course, but God has let me know that everything will be all right. I don't know how, but I just know that it will be okay." I never worried or shed a tear from that moment in my living room until I held my daughters body in my arms. Her little body was still warm. When I asked the nurse why she was still warm after dying 4 hours ago, she told me that her nurse had just laid her down a few minutes ago. She had been holding her in her arms for 4 hours after her death.
Yet, you will see her in Heaven, face to face Kelly - you and your beautiful wife! Imagine that!!! Blessings to you!!!