Wake Up Call!

All can TRY to renounce being a follower of Christ.... But Christ has better plans for you, for us all... as long as we wake up and grip to them!! My friend Kelly Crabb has been quite the fighter, the defender for Jesus!! Very much so on fire for His Truth! And that always intrigued me to watch one fight for Jesus-so much the way Paul did!! Very loud in words, very vocal, very open-not afraid. I like that. We all have different ways of converting, sharing His Gospel. And many, especially men cling more to the "don't be dumb, in your face mode..." A lot of women would be hurt from something like that, and turn whether in tears or anger, but turn and not listen to that type of announcement about Jesus. Me personally, I was the "tough" chick, that when it was "thrown" in my face in that way-I threw back all my ways I wouldn't turn to "his god..." "my god" was better. I really didn't have a god... I just went down the list of what "my heaven" was-and no where in it did it include this "Jesus" person that my ex told me he loved more than me. He was very upfront. But after all I had to go thru to find Jesus-I look at people like Kelly, like my ex, and I see the reality in it. I see the clock ticking. I saw all I had to go thru-almost having to actually overdose so much and near death to finally call upon Christ!! To change my personal ways. Kelly has gone thru a lot in life. And this is just a bit of it. I have been blessed to hear more and be astonished about what he has lived thru, who he has become-all thru our Maker, our Redeemer, our Best Friend-Jesus Christ. But also, all in Kelly's will to pick himself up from hard times and give those to Jesus-trust HIM and accept HIM thru everything he had gone thru, was going thru, was yet to go thru--but wanted Jesus there thru it all...good and bad. As sermons have taught... we are not to partially "keep" Jesus...and just place Him in our trunk... or on a better day with Christ, maybe give Him the back seat. Or when we really feel like we are sooooo Christ-Like, we open the "passenger" door for Him....no, that isn't how it goes. We are to leave our car running, climb quickly into the passenger seat allowing our Leader, our Lord Jesus Christ to show us where we will be heading WITH HIM. He can also have every and any radio station HE WANTS! He is our EVERYTHING. Kelly has a lot of this in him. Very kind-hearted soul. Speaks truth that may bug some people to delete, which I feel, if you do that, there is something wrong with your walk. We all will have "differences." But to disconnect from someone where the core of everyone's belief is Christ-it is basically disconnecting from Christ. He asked us not to quarrel over differences ... love each other thru everything... help each other gently if one looks like they are walking a bit crooked. But today-everyone just disconnects. Kelly speaks plain truth on Facebook out of love-and people disconnect. I am here to say-to you Kelly, your fight for Christ will be well rewarded in Heaven. And always keep our friendship! I pray for all who get angry-if you get angry, then there is something wrong with your defense. When one knows truth and can stay calm thru the battle, that is because it is true. That is why Jesus could sleep thru storms. If we carry His truth, we should be able to sleep thru storms-bi pass anxiety. Don't you think. We have amazing Jesus on our side. Let's make sure we keep walking across the water, without doubt.... thru God, anything is possible. Kelly, you know that well. Bless you!!

Testimony by Kelly Crabb....
I tried to renounce being a Christian: My testimony 

In 1983 we had a little girl born with Beckwith–Wiedemann Syndrome. On the day that she was born I was so angry and upset with God that I tried to renounce being a Christian. I had gone home from the hospital, walking in the door, I saw a little soup skillet laying in the floor. I went for a field goal, hoping that I would break my toes, it would have hurt less than the pain that I was feeling. In my mind the thought came, "If this is what it is to be a Christian, why don't you tell God to get the hell out of your life? You just want to be happy like everyone else." I said, good idea, "God, if this is what it is to be a Christian, I want no part of You, get away from me."  Then the thought came,"Tell Jesus too," so I said,"Lord if this is what it is to be a Christian, I am sorry that I ever met You, get out of my life."  Then, I heard stuttering in my mind, which I thought odd, of course, who stutters in their mind? "Go ahead, T, T, Tell, number 3 too." Immediately in my mind I saw a beam of light, like a floodlight coming through the clouds. Just when I thought that it was my imagination, I was lifted up into the air, though still in my living room on the first floor, and saw the light hit the rooftop. Immediately I was back in my living-room, and in my mind I saw the light hit the floor to my right side. Immediately I couldn't cry anymore. I yelled, "Leave me alone, have you seen my baby?" He said,"Kelly, I can't allow you to do that. Being 22, I said,"Oh yea, watch this." I could not speak a word. I opened my mouth, but could not speak at all. I said,"If you wont let me say it out loud, I am going to say it in my mind." He said,"Kelly, I can't allow you to do that, it is the only thing that I can't forgive you for." I didn't care, I was furious. So I tried again, and again, He would not let me put any words together at all. He said,"Put your daughter in my hands." Internally, I said,"Put her in your hands, you are God, you could have had her born normal." He said,"Can you heal her, can you take her home?" Funny, I was still calling Him Lord. I said,"No Lord." A ticker-tape ran through my mind with part A and part B of two verses,"Cast all your cares upon Him that careth for you, and the peace which surpasses all understanding will keep your heart and mind in Christ." I had perfect peace for the whole seven and a half months that Jessica lived. Even when they called us 4-5 times needing a verbal approval over the phone for emergency surgery to save her life, I had a totally uncanny peace, that let me know that everything would be all right. He gave me the ability to trust Him, even when everyone around me was crying and so upset. They would even ask me if I even cared about my own daughter. I said,"Yes, of course, but God has let me know that everything will be all right. I don't know how, but I just know that it will be okay." I never worried or shed a tear from that moment in my living room until I held my daughters body in my arms. Her little body was still warm. When I asked the nurse why she was still warm after dying 4 hours ago, she told me that her nurse had just laid her down a few minutes ago. She had been holding her in her arms for 4 hours after her death.

Yet, you will see her in Heaven, face to face Kelly - you and your beautiful wife! Imagine that!!! Blessings to you!!!

Never Too Late For Jesus

This is a blessed blog, one I first received from a dear friend on Facebook-just openly. I had to ask him to re-send it to me, as for I lose a lot of what I am searching for on FB these days!! He did so quick, so fast-so humbled. I am very gracious to be able to call Jim my friend, even though we haven't met in person yet, and have only known each other a few weeks on Facebook. But the cool part about the two of us is we are both very transparent. He also speaks with beautiful words Jesus has blessed Him with, words that make you feel like your surrounding is a beautiful beach day, or amazing waterfalls that runneth over .... His talk about Jesus is amazing. I was twenty-six and near death when I finally accepted Him. I thought I'd never run into anyone even a tad older. This man clung hard to Christ at 69-5 years ago, and hasn't let go!! He has only grown wiser thru his walk!! And very humble, kind, gentle, loving... and so on!! I always thought finding Jesus at a later age of 26 helped me grow quicker, and definitely not grow bored in His teaching, or teaching others in need to hear; not in comparison as it can become just like a job like feeling for those who grew up a particular faith-made to go to church, as opposed to a desire to go soak it up themselves. And it becomes very stale like for many who do as parents expect or demand as they become parents-but the relationship with Christ is yet to be established. That is where both Jim and I have a common. Finding Him on our terms opened our hearts big time. Jim, you have no time for regret on the time you were not seeking. He always has His perfect timing of us. And right NOW it is perfect for you to be on fire for Him, share His Word. You do it remarkably-the way people who know zero about it and have wonders yet fear-will cling to you! You are gentle! Yet truthful! Bless your Jesus-overfilling heart!

This is Jim Russels testimony....
How I found Jesus:  A request for a bio has been asked: Here is my story about How I found Jesus:


My youth until the age of 69 was without Christ, or so I thought. After having been awakened by Christ at 69, the eyes of Jesus allowed me to see many things previously hidden from me. The most important realization was that an angel had been with me throughout my entire life, without my knowing.
Consider this scripture:
 Hebrews 1:14 (NIV) Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?
 This Word of God assures us that we do indeed have guardian angels, which I once thought was a 'fanciful tale.' At the time of my youth, I often thought I was "lucky," but as the years went on, misfortune after misfortune appeared and was brushed aside by "luck." I became suspicious, and then amazed. One after the other, I was rescued from relationships that would have put most on the street, homeless.

Finally, I joined the Freemasons, a fraternity that teaches morality and upstanding conduct, values taken from mainly the Bible. Their need beckoned to me, and I learned some teaching roles, memorized and then delivered at certain lodge proceedings. My contributions were well received, and over the years I learned more teachings, and eventually was elected Master of the Lodge in 1977. The teaching did me good, and making the mistakes that leaders made did me more good.
In a word, I was softened from the hardened-heart state, being prepared, unknown to me.

I moved to another state, and to another Masonic Lodge. This time, I resolved to take the lessons learned to heart, and again applied myself to learning Masonic morality, with a better heart. I was elected Chaplain, and received recognition for spiritual leadership of the lodge. The old heart was changing, I sensed, but did not know why I was unsettled.

Finally, my daughter suggested by mail that I come to Iowa and retire near her. I did, and there I joined a United Methodist Church. Interesting, I thought. A course offering eventually appeared, apparently on church basics, and I thought, "Why not?"

So I signed up for the course, and attended. That is the last week of existence for the old me. In a nutshell, as soon as I saw the other class members, I was stunned. Their faces shone with a radiance that captivated me. They spoke with a quiet sincerity and earnestness that held me so tightly that it hurt. In short, without understanding what they were talking about, this Jesus stuff, I was sold, and I wanted whatever it was that they had.

That night, I prayed, my heart full, to God above, hesitantly, and was answered in power and force such that it seemed winds were about to blow me away. I looked to see if the drapes were moving. No, they were still. A voice, not spoken, not in words, but felt, something primeval, ancient, and familiar.
 I skip here to later, the next morning, and awakened to a new day, literally, and began to see everything as if I had never opened my eyes until this morning...

The rest is my journey in Christ, which I now share with my friends, especially with those also in Christ. You are most welcome to join me.

Much Love in Christ Jesus, 

Jim Russell

Galatians 2:20 I myself no longer live, but Christ lives IN me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (NLT)

From stabbed-to STEADFAST love in Christ

Here is a strong woman--thru the weaknesses endured!! And AMEN!! She credits it all to Jesus!!! We all can sit and complain of divorce-but when it is one that really throws you, over the edge-I personally also found out-you better learn to take your eyes off that tragedy-and run to find Jesus-the One who has all your plans-the One who is ready to hold you in tough times. The One who is ready to comfort you-and build you up-so you can proceed to get thru it all, and tell everyone HOW!! IT WAS ALL THRU HIM!! Forgiveness is when He is ready to begin a whole new page-when you TRULY forgive something this tough. When you do, He is so delighted, He smiles and is saying "job well done--I am so proud!" And leads you in the new direction... with hope, faith, LOVE-- thru HIM. Miss Reeves and I have been on twitter together for a while--and I have seen how true her heart is thru Him. And I just began to wonder where it all came from--where was her faith and prayer coming from? We all have it-- but she was/is shining!! When you read this- you will begin to see how amazing He works!! Where her light shines!! I am so grateful to be friends with @diesel_lady :
I knew my husband for 4 years before I married him so it's not like I rushed into it.  We married, moved to AL and a week later his "real" nature came out.  I can't remember

what I did, but he exploded.  I didn't recognize who this man was.  He began to throw things across the room and before I knew it, he punched a hole in the wall and kicked the door off the hinges.  I put up with it for almost 2 months before I decided to leave him.  I sought out a divorce attorney and filed.  I never said anything to him about it.  I just planned to leave and serve him with papers later.  

He went to work one morning and as soon as he turned around the corner, I started packing my things.   I got away until suddenly I saw him coming up in my rear view mirror.  He came along side of my vehicle waving my check books.  I forgot to get them.  He then called my cell while driving along side of me and said if I gave him the house keys he would give me my check books and I could go.  BIG MISTAKE.  I pulled over and when he approached, he pulled out a knife and stabbed me 3 times.  Once in the stomach, thigh, and right hand.  He then grabbed my car keys, purse, and other items and drove off leaving me with no way to get to a hospital.  

A van full of workers passed me by and saw that I was walking while holding my stomach and leg.  The came back and called for help.  They caught him, arrested him, and he spent three days in jail before being released on bond.  By that time, I had moved back to GA and was waiting to see what the grand jury would do.  They did not indite. I was furious.  Later on, he cried, begged, and pleaded with me to come back to him but I knew better than that.  He would eventually kill me if I did so I stayed away.

My family, (especially my dad) was furious and wanted him to "pay" for what he did.  I, however, knew that it was better to forgive and move on especially since I was one of the few women (like you) who survived my attack.  I forgave him and we divorced 30 days later.  

I spoke to him maybe 2 months later and he was very apologetic about what had happened.  I told him that I had already forgiven him and it was the past.  He couldn't believe I forgave him.  My family thought I was crazy and they still do.  They can say what they like, I know the forgiving power of Jesus Christ in my own life and if he can forgive me for my sins, I can and am commanded to forgive others.  

Forgiving, sets YOU free, not your accuser. When you hold resentment, rage, vengeance, and hatred toward others, YOU are the only one who suffers.  Forgiveness, TRUE forgiveness is releasing another from the wrong they did to you without expecting an apology from them.  

I thank God I survived it and hope to be a witness and encouragement to other women who have been faced with an aggressor. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...that becomes more and more true in my life everyday.

With love,

Asia Reeves

Diesel Lady

Psalm 25:8-10 
Good and upright is the LORD; therefore He instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep His way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep His covenant and testimonies.

Mark 11:25  
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in Heaven will forgive Your sins, too.

1 Timothy 2 1
I urge you, first to pray for all people. As you make your requests, plead for God's mercy upon them, and give thanks.

Hebrews 4:12-13 
For the Word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from Him. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done.

Faith is ALIVE!

Here is a story of courage-testimony-that was lived out this far-and is still being lived out as I type!! He has such a heart for all thru Christ! He sure has been talked to thru our Lord! And--as we all are, impatient at times-especially in the beginning of our walk with Him. We have more "why's" and "what's" --that in time turn into more patience and "I trust and love You-thru all of this-knowing YOU have plans!" And HE DOES! Thru every trial-UP and DOWN-desert or mountain-HE HAS AWESOME PLANS ALREADY LAID OUT! As we cling to Him! And Sergio may be far in distance from me-but close thru Christ! And thru his testimony you will see amazing points and others that are in need of prayer-but we know-GOD already has His hands on it all! As he clings tight to Him!!

I have always believed in God and still do. Although for most of my life I believed in "God" through another faith, that of Hinduism. I always tried to make a better connection to our Father but to no avail. My family was very strict about their Hindu faith. However as well meaning as it was I  did not feel happy.  

I was always fearful and felt constricted and in bondage. I felt overpowered by other members of my family. I wanted to stand up for myself, feel that I was a full person, but I could not. My family members filled me with fear about going out with other boys to a sports event or party. The fear they would put into me was that I would be kidnapped... or worse killed in a fight etc.

Whilst, a Hindu I attended a Sunday School class. I must have been around 10-12 yeasrs old. I was struck by the beauty  of the teaching of the ten commandments. It has stayed with me always. I went onto university, got married , had 3 children , then started to build this house.  

Everything went wrong. 

I kept seeking God and doing prayers to the Hindu gods, for things to come right. To no avail. I was getting into all sorts of bizarre problems. I continued to earnestly seek for God, for peace, for deliverance.  During this time my 4th daughter was born. Things went from bad to worse financially. I tried other faiths and visited their priests. One day I met one of these priests who had recently began turning to Christianity. In this priest's home I found a copy of a book "The Power of Posiitive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. It was an eye-opener to me. I then turned to the bible and the words almost leaped of the pages to me. It was like coming out of a long-long dark hideous tunnel into an oasis of peace and light. I gave my heart of Jesus Christ then and there. My body shook uncontrollably as the Lord poured out wave upon wave of His Spirit upon me. I felt so peaceful. This was it what I had been searching for my whole life. A relationship with the living God. Since then the Lord has taken me through many trials and hardships. But I remain firmly anchored in Him. This is because I remember how He rescued me out of the pit of darkness and brought me into His glorious light.

God bless you!

Sergie Subramoney @eagle_high

Proverbs 16:17  The path of the upright leads away from evil; whoever follows that path is safe.

October19th-always-our Savior-SAVE-YOUR

All I can say... is a BIG AMEN!! Jesus Christ saved me when He died on the Cross for us all over 2000 years ago... but October seems to be an amazing, blessed month for me--thru HIM!!

He saved me in 2002, back when I didn't know Him. My ex beat me. I can go a little more in depth on this Blog, as for I was entitled this day to write one... and this is the day our Savior SAVED me from death in 2003. I feel He needs a little more in depth detail to tell all HOW AMAZING HE IS.

I went thru my first brain surgery August 7th, 2002. Was quite painful... and stressful. As for #1 I didn't know Jesus. #2 my husband then, ex now... and I really had a very tough relationship. Had since the get-go in 1996... but worsened as for he was so angry my illness interrupted his schooling. Wasn't my goal. We got pregnant in 2000--- and my seizures which used to be controlled, just skyrocketed. Now granted, we got pregnant, the night we were kindly planning another divorce. I looked at it as a reason to stay together-- he was so angry, as for he was stuck. And was in another relationship he had to break.

Had my brain surgery in 2002, because my seizures just would not be controlled by anything. Tried everything you can name. And ones that even thru me into a psych ward back in Alabama in 2001, as for they didn't know how to handle all that change from pregnancy there. I will say, changing meds back and forth does not make you the most pleasant being, seizing left and right doesn't help... while raising a baby while exhausted all by yourself, because your other half is stationed elsewhere... mind you are never able to talk, as for he was having another grand time with another woman as well. So, after my 1st brain surgery... he was given a couple weeks to come out to help take care of our baby, while I healed. Was just a living nightmare. #1 He had never been around her--so he didn't know how. #2 He had such little care for my pain, that checking on me was more than a task. #3 Began true thoughts of despair of what was going on--he had so much pinned up anger. But a couple weeks after, he went back to Texas where he was stationed. Allowed my time of rent to be lived out thru September in AZ-very gladly. Mind you.. I still didn't know Jesus. I just talked to myself--whatever "god" might be out there on rights and wrongs. We had already been thru so much I haven't listed on this part...such as adultery, many break-ups etc.. that this was just getting to be wearing. Especially when trying to recover, and raise this kid. But when time came-- Tory (my daughter) and I, got on the plane-- flew out to Texas. There, within 20 minutes he was saying such evil words-- like "if you don't like it here--you can go back, but Tory will stay...." WOW!!! Never expected. But we pressed on from Austin to Killeen. And wow... he just grew snappier. I know I wasn't perfect. But in the past days, there used to be this comforter in him. It was distinguished. Even after-mind you not quite two months after my brain surgery. And our beautiful kid-finally together. No.. did nothing. His anger grew more violent. This coming from the one who thru all this Jesus stuff in my face in 1996-unexpectedly. Took up to the fourth day that we were there- that I was sitting there in our living room- finally had an apartment... got our kid down late... it was 11 pm that I was emotional. Hoping he'd be his old self and come hold me, say we will all get thru it. I was sitting there listening to my good ol' Counting Crow's- and missed Phoenix and family. And he just looked at me in disgust and said he wasn't dealing with it-all I do is complain. WOW... I hadn't even said anything... just wanted a loving touching hand.. and anger grew and grew.. then he got louder.. and I had to remind him we have a child... he was so aggressive, that I told him I was taking the bedroom he could take the couch if he couldn't talk--he busted thru that bedroom door--knocked me down... pinned me down, and began the bruising on me from there. Was a nightmare!! We had no phone!!! The neighbor was Army too--and wouldn't let me turn him in...get help... I had to wait til the next day... to get down to the base to find a phone. Had to sleep with my car keys--as much as I REALLY SLEPT!!

AND WOW!! That is where God works. I was bawling with Tory in my arms on a calling card to a dear friend-AFAR--what to do?? And an Army Chaplain walked by--stopped watching me bawl--asking HOW HE COULD HELP!!??? So many on lunch breaks, and off to meetings, etc.. many just don't have time today--we are all just so booked, but this soul felt Jesus speak to him... the #1 I was in despair, #2 I needed some nudge to Jesus....

We tried counseling very short term thru him, as for my ex would not accept the fact that he beat me--even with the social services having taken pictures to prove it. My daughter and I up for hours for that--on base--and the Police Department. She was shaken... I sure was too. The despair of it was, as much as I love my family, they would not believe me--that he beat me, and he was kicked out of the apartment. So hard to deal with tragic reality. So between it all--it began a severe feeling of despair and loneliness- as for I still did not know Jesus yet. So who to pray to??

I talked to lawyers, to neighbors, on the phone to whom is my dear dear husband today... my neurologist-Dr. Drazkowski-(I still see and thank Jesus for today).... looking for answers. Just hadn't found one true answer yet... as for I began to reach for my Phenobarbital-seizure medication, take extra to ease and numb pain. Would pound a great handful fly in my car up to Austin--the city. I loved it-I love cities. And I had a family friend there we'd visit. He could see there wasn't something the same about me. Took several visits... and invited my now husband down to visit in Dec of 2002. Asking a neighbor to watch Tory---NIGHTMARE. #1 I felt it was all wrong somehow-- and was just in despair from all I was going thru... #2 popped sooo many of my pills surprised I am typing... but-- it led my family friend (my dad's best friend from high school-Bill) to call my parents and say "GET OUT HERE NOW---SHE NEEDS YOU!!" And they were on the first flight finally... as for it was a blessing--cause my ex picked up our kid--wasn't supposed to--and found which hospital I was at-even though he wasn't supposed to have Tory-nor be near me. Shoved me there inside the hospital in front of our one year old---led me to calling cops... but in perfect timing--praise God-- my parents walked in that hospital door-- and we all left... and came back to Arizona. My ex just dropped it all. As for he was off to Iraq... and just was about hurting... control. God was working....

This is what leads up to October 19th... A day I will never in my life forget, no regret, now. All the year of 2003 I had been searching for Jesus FINALLY in my life. Even while higher than a kite---HE INVITES ALL IN. And the Holy Spirit can still get thru to you!! I was trying to be hard hearted at first--but wow!! Just started to grasp me with amazement!!! Started dating my now amazing husband Christian Siebens, from afar....he was in Seattle. And Tory and I moved into our own little one bedroom apartment--she had the bedroom--I slept on the floor of the living room--with a TV no cable for her--and a lamp--no shade. Most awesome time of my life to be honest!!! I had off and on periods of popping way too many pills-was seeing an amazing psychiatrist for that at Mayo-Dr. Hanson-then later up thru today is amazing Dr. Stonnington. In July-then September of that year began seeing an AMAZING psychologist for people with seizures, strokes, etc... Dr. Sari Roth-Roemer--blessing and a half--who has helped me become so much of who I am today!!

I had been silent the whole time attending my church-Cornerstone Christian Fellowship, Chandler, AZ--but one day--in July of 2003, bit tipsy on too many pills again-at a church service-something spoke to me BIG. And made me look FINALLY for just ONE person to talk to--vent to. Ask questions about life, Jesus, what to do. And there was this lady I had seen almost every Sunday sitting pretty still as everyone was leaving--and I just chose her to reach to...my very dear friend and neighbor Karen. I reached to her BIG that night. Granted pretty tipsy, so God knows she was wondering what is up with this girl.. but she sure listened and reached out!!! And we kept in contact thru the year--she was like another counselor for me!! On biblical grounds. I truly today thank Jesus for her--she has helped me in so many ways-be a good mom, get thru hard points, she was my maid of honor. I am so blessed.

Had several overdosing stays in the hospital that year... but October 19th---why the date of this Blog meant so much to me is amazing---I argued on the phone with my ex on the 18th... and that argument just hurt. I had been saving my Phenobarbital pills--not taking them since August because I "hated" them. But not flushing them either in case of a "rainy" day. That argument felt like it was pouring. Denying he beat me--after apologizing a couple weeks prior. So psychologically confusing. So the next day... I popped half of my storage in the AM--went the the gym with my kid and friend, and his autistic kid. Hyper-drive started to kick in---walking straight lines weren't happening. Then.. began to feel the bit of downfall.. took it all.... 10,000 mg's... granted my body had grown pretty tolerant over the year. But I shouldn't be here typing. Led to us at the mall... me shopping like a bandit--for things I couldn't afford--and still have today to never forget. But it finally hit me--when I thought if I popped the ending of that bottle--I could just quickly go to sleep without feeling any type of fear first---I was wrong. And God gave me the feeling of regret--and fear. And I fortunately had my neurologists cell on program--like God knew this would occur. I hit the button in tears and asked what to do (best I could speak)---and he said to get there NOW. And sadly--I didn't just ask my friend to take us from the mall to that ER (30 miles)... no. I packed my kiddo up in my car... and said follow me to pack for my stay. And FLEW down the 40 mph street doing 80!!! TALK ABOUT JESUS' hand on us the WHOLE WAY...

My friend got us a sitter... and called my mom... and took me up to Mayo. And on the way--I remember nothing. I only remember when I got there--and they STAT put tube down me to pump my stomach-- just before I went into coma-- I asked Him to somehow give me another chance...and following--when I woke up in a room--I was still coming down off a high dose...but something still began to feel different. And I was still tipsy enough to not be embarrassed to call Karen, let her know how dumb I was--how amazing Jesus was. She was up in SECONDS!! That was when I was amazed at Christian friends who are there for you thru EVERYTHING!! She even had one of our very dear pastors come up to pray for me!! WOW--I had never been so touched in my life... that awesome Pastor Tom Stone was the same one who came to pray for me for my second brain surgery too... awesome friends thru Jesus I was learning!! WOW!!

And it all put me ONE FIRE FOR HIM!! I jumped in the Bible---and was amazed at how He spoke, and speaks to US. HE IS OUR SAVIOR ALL THE TIME!!! We have to see that!!

And I am still sitting here typing, blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, SKYPE'ing,, ning'ing, Lord... etc.. reaching now out to others... with epilepsy, domestic violence, depression, overdosage, suicide, etc... Most of all... those searching for Jesus. He has done nothing but brought so much good into my life... I learned so much thru it all---we need to forgive ourselves--knowing HE FORGIVES US FIRST!! (learned that thru my Bible study teacher Amy!! AMEN!!) And we need to forgive others... or we can't live a good life. I learned seizures worsen with me without forgiving others. Took me 4 years to forgive my ex--but it was an amazing feeling when I did.

He has brought so much joy and good thru all the tough times--as I found Him, trusted Him, walked tightly with knowing He has plans, and will not turn on me!! EVER!! And He hasn't -- has turned all this yuck into so much good-- and able to use so much I learned for His Glory!


With that... I have great news of my daughter being adopted by my husband-Christian Siebens @flyingchristian and @WorldVentures4U --whom she has always seen as her daddy-this coming year...and my 3rd brain surgery will be to come--to lessen medications!! He works wonders... even thru all the tough--leads to amazing good!!! We took the day my ex beat me and married that day in 2007---so it would always be a blissful day--not one to mourn over. And I always send my docs cards on Oct 19th--for helping thru Jesus to save my life!! (and I always buy a Starbucks cup--and my daughter clothes from Gymboree--as for that is what I did higher than I kite--I do it sane with happiness now!!)

Know you are wanted and loved by so many!! Jesus #1---family and friends and ME #2---never doubt that!! Jesus is always my Savior--your Savior-- always there to be our SAVE-YOUR :) Know that!! No matter what you are going thru or HOW you are going thru it--HE WILL GET YOU THRU IT--as you whisper to Him for His mercy and help!!!

In His Love,

Hetty Siebens



@AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures

My very first verse I opened to on my OWN when I really turned to Him after I exited Mayo Hospital---ALIVE!!!

Romans 4:18-19 AND...
Romans 4:20-22
Abraham NEVER wavered believing God's promise. In Fact, His faith grew STRONGER and in this he brought glory to God. He was absolutely convinced that God was able to do anything He promised. And because of Abraham's faith, God declared him to be righteous.
WOW!!!!

John 1:1-5 In the beginning the Word already existed. He was with God, and He was God. He was in the beginning with God. He created everything there is. Nothing exists that He didn't make. Life itself was in Him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines thru the darkness, and the darkness can never distinguish it.

Galatians 1:4 He died for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

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